Indy 500? What Else Is On?

I can’t watch no damn racing on television to save my life. Maybe if I were at the actual event I’d be able to appreciate the excitement, but I don’t know.

Dan Wheldon won the Indy 500, and I have absolutely no clue who he is. I do know he’s British. I’m familiar with the Andretti name, and I’ve heard a lot about the chick Danica Patrick, but that’s where it ends for me.

500 laps just seems like so much of a task to sustain my attention. Maybe if there were some living room games associated with the race it’d be more appealing to me. Like if we had to light a blunt every 25 laps, that’s twenty blunts! Or maybe if everyone had to chug a beer and take a shot every 50 laps, that’d make it interesting.

The wrecks are always an attention getter. But like hockey and the routine fights, if there ain’t a huge crash and burn effect to the event, I’m snoozing.